By the Boundless Stars and Sea

It was a cold night at the end of January.

Three of my closest friends and I lay in our room on the school retreat, debating on whether we should sneak out to look at the stars or whether the risk was too great. It was nearing midnight, and my resolve was weakening and weakening, until after a phone call with my dad, I decided I wouldn't go. Instead of giving me peace, this decision made me deeply unsettled and while the others continued deciding, I puzzled over this feeling, internally still debating what to do. Then the first of many unforgettable moments of the night happened.

"F**k it, let's go"

All discussion, internal or otherwise was silenced by this sudden decisiveness from one of my friend's. So go we did. I accepted whichever fate the universe had in store for me, whether that was being caught or not, as we slowly and nervously snuck out of the retreat and with adrenaline coursing through our veins, made our way down the main road. Every time a car came around, we dived into the bushes, terrified it was our teachers. Little by little, guess by guess, we chose the right roads that led to the beach and after 20 minutes of walking, we arrived. Slipping off our shoes and sinking our feet into the icy sand, shivering from both the cold and excitement, we made our way from the top of the cliff down to the surf beach. As we reached the bottom, I looked up and words cannot begin to describe the beauty that lay before my eyes.

***

Millions upon millions of glowing stars seemed to fall into the shimmering mirror of the ocean. The moonless night was so dark that the beach blurred into the water which blurred into sky, broken only by distant incoming clouds. An infinity of the deepest blue and softest silvers was rippled only by the breaking surf, which itself glowed silver as if thousands of bioluminescent creatures were riding its waves. the MIlky-Way soared above our heads and into its own watery echo. Rendered speechless by the aching beauty before us, the only sound was the ceaseless movement of the water.

Trancelike, we came closer and closer, rolling up our leggings and discarding our jackets. The ocean called to us and we came, laughing as we joined the surf, jumping at the sudden cold of the water and going in as far as we could handle. Time had stopped. It was just us in this perfect, divine moment and here something in me shifted. My values drastically changed. I now knew that in every moment of life, I would choose to find this same indescribable joy, I would honour my deep spirituality, I would not listen to the laws and rules of others and would instead find freedom in listening to the voice of my heart. I would forever wish to choose hope and love, the highest of human emotions, instead of giving in to my fears. Under those boundless stars, I was moved, shifted, changed, evolved.

Were we caught? No.

Deeply altered by our experience, we slowly and peacefully made our way back, choosing to lie beside the river, gently washing the sand off our feet and lying back to continue gazing at the stars. Road by road we returned to the warmth of our bed, speaking softly about the adventure amongst ourselves. Cars did not bother us, we no longer dived for bushes. We were fearless in our serenity. Arriving just after 2 am, we woke our other cabin mate to join us for a night feast before falling asleep.

During the rest of the retreat, we snuck out often, to a gorgeous café or to find ice cream, revelling in the freedom of our choices. That night was etched onto our very souls, into the very fibres of our being and I give thanks for its unfathomable beauty.

#embraceimpossible