Impossible to Bridge Religious Divides?

"In my first week of semester, I went into my chemistry lab, and I started talking to one of the girls. And she was really, really nice. Then she said that she recognised that I had an accent and she asked where I was from…

Usually, if I don't feel really comfortable, I say that I'm from Italy, because apparently, the accent in English between Italians and Israelis sounds very similar. Just to be safe, because some people, even if they're not Muslim, hate Israel. But I don't know why, I felt like it was alright, and I said I was from Israel. But it definitely took me a couple of seconds before I responded. But as soon as she said, "Oh, we're neighbours!", I became really stressed, and really overwhelmed, and I didn't know what to do.

So I just said "Oh, that's cool, where are you from?" She replied "Lebanon".

Israel and Lebanon are not such good friends...

So I became overwhelmed at the start. But obviously because she was so friendly, I didn't want to seem like I wasn't. So I just replied "Woah that's so cool". And then we just started talking, and even though we didn't actually ever talk about the conflict, we would just talk, and we're now friends. We see each other every week, which is really nice. She is Muslim and she's the first Muslim person I've ever spoken to because I was taught that if you see someone who is Muslim, you usually try to get away from them. Not saying that they have to be dangerous or that they are necessarily dangerous, but just because there's not much interaction, especially not where I am from in Israel, between Muslims and Jews or Arabs and Israelis. And we were taught that it was more likely for someone who is Muslim to kill us than someone who is Israeli or Jewish. But she's so friendly and I'm glad I said it, because maybe if I didn't say I was from Israel, then we wouldn't have had the same connection, because she wouldn't know we're from the same area. And it's really exciting."

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How to bridge a seemingly impossible ethnic/religious divide

"It is stupid to be scared to talk to someone, but it's a bit inherited in me and I think it's really sad. So I am quite passionate about this, and I would really love to talk to someone and see what they think because I'm always wondering what the Muslim point of view of is about Israel and about the conflict and everything.

But I can't force anyone to talk to anyone, I can't tell anyone to talk to anyone if they feel scared. Because obviously they have their own reasons to be scared. And I'm not saying they need to be scared of everyone and any race that's different to theirs, but since I've experienced it, I do know why they can be scared, because you don't know how someone will respond.

So, maybe start by talking to someone. For example, say you tell me that you have a Muslim friend, and she's really nice, and maybe to start talking to her, then I already know that she's probably not going to kill me, that she's not going to do anything to me, that she's not going to start screaming at me. And then hopefully maybe I'll get more comfortable, and be able to see that we're all people after all, so it shouldn't be different to talk to each other just because of our backgrounds.

Don't just talk to a random person on a bus, because then you really have no idea what to expect, or what's going to happen. Especially because it's a very small place, and if there is a threat or something, it's really hard to run away. Which hopefully you're not going to get to that situation, but in one in a million cases, if that does happen….

So through common friends or someone that you've known for a while, is a great place to start."

- Meytar Givoni

If, like Meytar, you've encountered personal impossible moments, send us through your story!!

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